Startup_6

previous installment is here

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Ler and Noulli

"What the fuck are you doing?" roars Noulli after kicking the door open.
Ler raises his head, "I am blind but I am not deaf," he replies with dignity.
They are both aliens in the snowy St. Petersburg, and over time they became close friends.
"You have been writing one math paper a week for the last two decades," hisses Noulli, "have you lost your mind?"
"Really?" says Ler, "it felt like someone is cleaning up my stack," he says resignedly, "but it gives me something to do."

"Well," Noulli calms down a bit, "we had a plan."
"Archim had a plan," replies Ler angrily, "I am doing good stuff and I cannot pack it in the drawer for 200 years."
"Besides, I have never signed on this plan," he threatens.
"Fine, but can't you do something less useful?" negotiates Noulli. "At this rate we will travel to the moon in twenty years and this is only 18th century!" he adds exasperated.
"Less useful?" Ler is dubious, "what you mean? How can math be useless?"
"Obviously you need to invent the right kind," Noulli challenges him, "there's got to be useless mathematics and we need it now!"
"Mathematica inutilis," whispers Ler clearly looking for the right name, "I think I might come up with something."

Getting the timing right

Dark clouds have been gathering over Wton's head for quite some time. The Society of Mathematicians was livid about the publication of The Principia and his laissez-faire attitude towards the distribution of knowledge without the slightest attention to its impact. It was time to make amends.

So Wton is pacing back and forth waiting for his audition and when the door finally opens he is filled with dread. Society of Mathematicians is not known for their sense of humor and seeing a row of hooded nerds is not a confidence instilling experience.
"I was walking in the garden and saw a falling apple," Wton starts quietly.
"Fuck your apple," a hooded gnome with a voice of a teenager cuts in.
Suddenly Wton becomes defiant, "I hope this creep Bnitz is not behind it."
"Bnitz has nothing to do with it," comes a booming voice, "you just gave too much too early."
"Just one small equation," Wton is not giving up easily.
"Yeah, right. And 400 pages of explanations," squeaky voice cuts in, "this is it for you. You will be a religious scholar from now on."
"Religious scholar?" Wtons repeats absent-mindedly and starts sobbing when the realization of what it means hits him. His eyes are open wide in terror and he is beginning to feel desperate.
"I can help you with the exact timing of The Flat," he tries to bargain.
"Really?" hooded teenager asks with curiosity.
Wton takes a deep breath and begins his explanations. "I have mathematical formulas for all these things," he begins. "When a real change occurs the first derivative is zero. But some time before it happens, the second derivative is zero, and this is when you should be on a lookout."
"Inflection point," says hooded teen, "I have read the Principia. You can't sell what you gave away, dickwad!"

But other members of the Society are uncomfortable, and decide to sweeten the pot. "You will be a religious scholar and an alchemist," the presiding mathematician announces.
"Fuck you all," roars Wton seeing the last decades of his life heading for the dustbin.


Newsflash

It is several weeks later that the Program Commanders of the Mathematics Unit meet again with Lander and his goons from the Society of Mathematicians.
Meantime the name change has been announced and the shit storm is gathering strength. The official line is that the idea came from a high level idiot fishing for a next job after GSA. At least seven distinguished committees are trying to figure out what statistical sciences are, and there is a great deal of commotion.

Lander takes to the podium, looks around, and begins. "The End of Mathematics may be coming and with such an event we should always ask: What? Why and When?
As it turns out these questions were considered by our Founding Fathers: Euc, Archim and Wton. Euc created the Method which gave the seeds of math as we know it, Archim predicted that math may come to an end, and Wton told us when to start preparing for it."

He pauses, looks at his watch and says, "The time is now."

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