Startup_4

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What is going on?

It is Wednesday and Program Commanders head to the pub in the nearby mall. Furthermore, Ean is supposed to join them and everybody is happy since they did not see him for a long time. Ean was one of them until he started advancing through ranks and moved out of the Government Science Agency. They order beer and soon the conversation shifts to the usual topic - mathematics.

"Sas suspects that mathematicians are hoarding their stuff and quite frankly there is something to it," starts Mek.
"Really?" Ean sounds quite surprised, "is there any indication of any of this?" he adds a bit too quickly.
"Well, there seems to be not much going on, we get crummy reports, empty abstracts, and people look at their shoes when they talk to us," Uce give the laundry list of hints they unearthed so far.
"That is not much evidence," says Ean showing some signs of relief, "mathematicians look at their shoes a lot."
They chat and gossip and order another round of beer. Ean talks very little and appears to be pondering something. After a while, he appears as if he made up his mind.
"This is just a rumor," he begins, "but I heard from Lander that math is to be put up for sale."
Absurdity of this sentence is obvious but Ean is quite credible and Lander is the president of the Society of Mathematicians. Consequently, this has the effect of a hand-grenade exploding in a small room.
"I do not know much," continues Ean, "but there is an ancient plan predicting that math will become useless at some point, and the Society of Mathematicians wants to take care of the community just before all  mathematicians join the ranks of unemployed."
"And that is why they hide the best stuff from everybody?" someone guesses.
"Most likely", says Ean, "this is really a standard scenario of a startup. You give away the stuff for nothing and develop product in wait for the big fish to come and buy you out."
"It is just that in this case it took several thousand years," he adds.

There is a great deal of commotion and an avalanche of questions. Eventually simple logic prevails and Ie says, "Well, it still does not make sense. Who would buy mathematics? Why would you pay for what you already have?"

Ean smiles easily, "Good point," he says, "but this is all I know."


S and M

It is early evening and Pat is working on a surprise for Archim. He puts on a tight outfit made of  soft black leather and guides Archim to a secret room that he spent days remodeling and stocking up. Archim is curious and interested although he exhibits his usual absent-mindedness. Together they enter the dimly lit room whose center is occupied by a large contraption with several moving parts, restraining belts and a number of oddly placed protrusions. Archim is pleased to see several of his inventions utilized in the design but he is not fully grasping the device's purpose and potential.
Yet there is something in the atmosphere of the room that makes his sexual and intellectual bits go into overdrive.
"We will have more fun if we deal with math first," Pat says with a smile.
"Oh, thank you," answers Archim barely holding his excitement down.
"So where were we?" asks Pat and picks up a small whip and a stubby paddle.
Archim glances sideways at him and stutters, "If mathematics has an expiration date then it needs to be managed."
"Hmm," says Pat, "managed by whom?"
 "Some secret community," Archim says with hesitation, "A Society of Mathematicians, for example"
"So how would it work?" says Pat slowly while blindfolding Archim with a silk veil.
Archim becomes a bit disoriented and distracted but does not lose his train of thought.
"The Society of Mathematicians would have a public side and a secret side," Archim begins to describe a scheme that ever since became a standard operating procedure for any organization with an ambition of exerting influence over human affairs.
"The secret part will manage the pace of discovery, while the public part will keep the societal interest at an appropriate level," Archim continues while Pat removes Archim's toga and straps his arms and legs to the contraption.
"I think this will work," Archim concludes suddenly realizing his vulnerability.
"We should agree on the safe word," says Pat.
"Eureka," whispers Archim offering his body for a full examination.


What happened to dinos?

Another lazy mid-day coffee at the Government Science Agency, and after a short time Program Commanders drift to their recent topic, wholesale of mathematics.

"Was there ever a sale of assets of comparable size?" asks Ie.
"It is hard to say," answers Mek, "once the stuff is gone it is almost like it never existed."
Now everybody is wide awake and the questions are coming.
"Are you serious, how can mathematics be forgotten?" Nna wonders.
"Well, it is like the Beethoven Fifth, after you get rid of a CD or mp3, you can hum it in the shower but this will not be the same thing," answers Uce.
"Holy crap," someone moans loudly.
"But going back to your original question," Mek begins slowly "I think that it is reasonable to suspect that dinosaurs were put up for sale."

Mek is the only creationist in the Mathematics Unit of the Government Science Agency but still the statement catches Program Commanders by surprise.
"Haven't they been gone for like millions of years?" someone mumbles, and Mek smiles happily seeing an opening for one of his excruciating lectures.

"Well, the fact that we peddle convenient scientific theories should not make us blind," he begins, "we like the Universe to be billions years old because it makes our leaders look like hyperactive busy-beavers. But in all likelihood the dinosaurs were around a mere few thousand years ago, and the universe is 6000 years old just as the good book says."

"I would get them for pets if they were small," says Dy ignoring the incoming tsunami of absurdity.
"Exactly," says Mek happily, "whoever got them must have been at least an order of magnitude larger."

"Are you talking fucking aliens?" Man asks. She is a mathematical biologist and this might be a fruitful direction for her discipline to find a better foothold among sciences.

"It is just a guess, I do not see local buyers really," answers Mek, and since everybody is struggling to process these theories, he continues, "my guess is that Moses was involved in all this, and poor creatures were traded for pyramids and beer."
"Pyramids and beer?" someone asks.
"It is a guess," Mek explains, "but they both appeared just as suddenly as dinosaurs disappeared."
"Anyway, it does not look like a good deal," Dy says.
"It is a fantastic deal. Have you seen Godzilla or Jurassic Park?" Mek is quite serious, "you do not want to have these fuckers anywhere near you."

Everybody gets up and slowly heads back to work. It is completely clear that dinosaurs are indeed gone and these revelations seem to disrupt the existing theory.
"It is a toss-up between large asteroid wiping them out, or Moses selling them to the highest bidder," says Dy, "fifty-fifty, I guess," he adds to his own surprise.


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