previous installment is here
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North!
"This is good shit," says the Geometer, "I am not burning it down."
"You will get in trouble," murmurs the Number Theorist, "we have got to burn something. And soon," he adds pointing to first indications of incoming sunrise.
"Why exactly are we burning it?" asks the Logician.
"Because these were supposed to be in the Last Day Math," says the Algebraist.
"And they were all written by women," adds the Logician without any indication that she sees a problem with it.
"Praise the Lord, keep the books," the Applied Mathematician chants softly, "what if we put it back in the Last Day Math?"
"And then?" asks the Geometer. "And then burn the fucking building!" concludes the Applied Mathematician, "it is ugly as hell."
They peek outside to see the throngs of mathematicians carrying books out of the library.
"So we were not the first to figure it out," the Number Theorist observes dryly.
"Some fucking riot," the Algebraist adds sarcastically.
"Where are you taking this stuff?" the Geometer asks a passing mathematician buckling under a ton of books.
"To the Vatican Library," he answers happily, "nobody will see it for millennia."
"I did not know that Vatican has a library," mutters the Algebraist.
"It does now!" answers the mathematician and moves on.
What about the Gender Gap?
The Logician stands by the doorway watching the Geometer and the Algebraist load a small cart with books while the Applied Mathematician and the Number Theorist snoop around.
"And what about the Gender Gap?" she says blocking the exit.
"What Gender Gap?" the Geometer fires back, "didn't we add the works of Putyfurius, Phallus and the rest of them to the lot"?
"Oh, c'mon," the Logician is exasperated, "what work?"
Applied Mathematician raises a small manuscript.
"She might be right," he says, "this is a paper of Pretendus who claims that he can square a circle using common household tools."
"We cannot fix the past," says the Number Theorist somberly, "but this is only the third century. Now that Pathia signaled the problem it can be taken care of in the next 20 years. There is really nothing to worry about, in thousand years nobody will even know what a Gender Gap is."
the Number Theorist, the Geometer and the Algebraist are nodding vigorously, eager to move on.
"I wish I was as convinced as you are," says the Logician and she reluctantly opens the door.
Close encounter of the third kind
Lander suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night with a strange feeling of being in a presence of another being.
"What is going on?" he asks his wife who snores softly next to him and is out cold.
At this very moment Zaph is scanning his brain for information but as he comes through the fourth dimension this cannot be detected directly.
"Am I losing my mind?" Lander wonders aloud.
"Sit still!" a booming voice of Zaph thunders in Lander's head.
"If I start a conversation it will mean that I am a basket case,"
Lander reminds himself.
"No it does not," Zaph says emphatically, "just talk to me."
"Who are you?" Lander decides to take the voice in his head for real, "I will get the meds later," he reminds himself.
"I am your customer," Zaph explains, "I want to buy..." his voice trails off since he forgot what they were after.
"Oh my," says Lander, "we have been waiting for it for two thousand years."
"Let me get the contents of your brain," booms Zaph, "it will be faster this way."
"Ok," Lander agrees feebly, and as his mind is evacuated so are his bowels.
"This is the worst night of my life," he murmurs when all is over 30 seconds later.
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