Startup_17

previous installment is here and the pdf of the entire text of Startup is here

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Site visit

A big sign "WYSIWYG Institute" is the first indication that they arrived at their destination. The Program Commanders unload from a rented van and head towards the building.
"I am glad we opened this one," says Ris eyeing the surroundings, "we were getting quite a reputation for closing down these large facilities."

They head to a large conference room that is packed with people. A round of introductions reveals the presence of at least six provosts from the neighboring universities, a comparable number of deans, and two university presidents. A considerable number of administrators of various ranks complete the entourage.
Most administrators are accompanied by lawyers and a fellow with slicked black hair and italian suit is introduced as the  consigliere.

The site visit is focused on two areas: governance and mathematics,  and the welcoming team has a two-slide presentation addressing these topics. The hosts waste no time in getting to business.

The governance slide has a complicated graph illustrating how all six universities cooperate in managing the WYSIWYG Institute. It appears that even the simplest tasks require the involvement of four of them with the remaining two acting in the monitoring mode.
"Looks complicated," murmurs one of the GSA visitors.
"Because it is," the WYSIWYG director answers with pride and nods to  the administrators.
"The system provides employment and  job training for over two hundred employees and provides additional capacity for growth," all deans confirm happily, "this is a real job creator."

The mathematics is presented on another simple yet powerful slide.
"The focus of WYSIWYG Institute activities is centered on data," one of the provosts begins, "this is where the WYSIWYG aspect comes to full fruition."
He turns on the projector to reveal the slide. The bottom half shows an incomprehensible LaTeX page with long macros and unparsable formulas.
"This is mathematics - the old way," he explains chuckling.
The top part shows a font-rich Word document describing an algorithm for long division of integers.
"This is mathematics - the WYSIWYG  way," he announces forcefully.

One of the lawyers gets up to explain the details, The "WYSIWYG Institute is a bi-directional embodiment of the guiding principle. If you see it then you will get it, and if you do not see it then unfortunately you cannot have it."
Ris shifts in his seat uncomfortably, "what about the scientific staff?" he asks.
The lawyer's face shows a hint of annoyance, "as I was saying, if you do not see it..."
One of the presidents steps in, "We are the leaders in job creation and all administrators are materially present," he flashes a picture of a large group of people frolicking among the cubicles.
"What do you expect the mathematical deliverables will be?" Ris pitches a softer question.
"The WYSIWYG paradigm is not build around setting goals that are beyond the visible horizon," another university president pipes in, "but rather on maintaining full availability of what is already available."
There is silence around the table as the site visit team is taking it all in.
"Availability of what is already available," Ris murmurs to himself, "what a brilliant idea."


Win-win for everybody

"How exactly is the planet cloaked?" Zaph wants the details.
"Basically they use carbon dioxide and methane, and they have plenty of it," Ord explains.
"Carbon dioxide and methane?" Zaph is suddenly very alert, "this is pretty precious stuff."
"And they have more of it than they need?" he probes.
"By now they are swimming in it and it poisons them slowly," Ord answers.
"So if we get this mathematics shit from them and suck the carbon dioxide and methane as well it would be great for us and for them?" Zaph forms his plan.
"How is it great for them?" Ord is uncertain.
"They get rid of things that are bad for their planet!" Zaph is very pleased.
"And mathematics?" Ord keeps asking.
"Mathematics is just too much for them," says Zaph with finality, "too much for anyone in fact."
"And mathematicians will be viewed as the saviors of the planet. They will be revered forever," Zaph is quite confident.
"You are saving the planet on the back of their favorite activity. What will they be doing instead?" insists Ord.
"Oh, c'mon," laughs Zaph, "they will not feel a thing. They will be drinking beer and fishing for the rest of their days."

We owe it to them

Zaph and Ord are back in the methane lounge with their heads touching.
"You know," starts Zaph, "there is an alternative solution." He rolls his eyes and makes a squashing sound.
Ord is scandalized. "First of all it is not legal, and the second is that we brought it on ourselves."
"How come?" Zaph is curious.
"As I suspected, we had dealings with them in the past," Ord explains,
"they had an invasive species, rather cute reptiles, and they put them up for trade."
"Interesting. What did they trade them for?" Zaph asks.
Ord starts explaining. "As far as I see they wanted us to scatter a few gigantic tetrahedrons on a desert, they craved a recipe for a mild alcoholic drink  and a one-time trick of parting water of a small sea to be done at a specific moment."
"Did it all work?" Zaph is curious.
"I think so," answers Ord, "they miss the giant reptiles, are very fond of beer, and are really puzzled about the giant tetrahedrons. And they make a lot of movies about the Red Sea parting."
"So what is the problem?" Zaph wants to know.
"These tetrahedrons got them into thinking about volumes, areas and such. We gave them the wrong toy and they developed all this mathematics that is now menacing us."


Flip of a coin

"So there we are," Zaph describes the options, "we go with the deal or we kind of make the problem go away."
"Go away?" Ord is unsure if he got the thought correctly.
"Yeah, go away, as if something happened to their planet," Zaph says obliquely.
"Did we not talk about it already?" Ord is quite angry, "Obi-Wan will detect the change in the Force if you do it."
"But this is soooo much simpler," Zaph does not want to give up his morbid idea, "and there is not much Force with these guys."

They sit in silence until Ord pulls something from his pocket.
"Let's flip a coin," he says.
"What?" Zaph asks.
"It is a promotional coin from the dinosaur's sale, quite apropos," he says.
He shows it to Zaph. On one side there is a depiction of a dinosaur stomping out a small village, and on the reverse there is a pyramid and a mug of beer. Hieroglyphic inscription says "Do not be a dufus."
"Nice stuff," Zaph grabs the coin in one of his multiple hands, "so how you do it?"

Ord takes a deep breath, "If it falls on the dinosaur side we bleep them out, otherwise we buy all the math, suck up the excess carbon dioxide and methane, and make heroes of all mathematicians."
"Ok," says Zaph and he sends the coin up spinning.

              The end