previous installment is here
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Who is Zaph?
Program Commanders are lining up to get their coffee and debrief. Zaph is not exactly a household name and certainly it is not one of their Principle Enquirers.
Just as they settle Mek announces that he knows one Zaph.
"It is a character in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The President of the Galaxy in fact," he adds.
"That would be fitting except that it is not a real person," Nna tries to stay out of nonsense.
But Mek is not giving up, "I do not know what a real person is and I do not think it matters. Unless you have another Zaph I propose to assume that this is the right one."
Nna who was trained in conflict resolution at the Government Bureaucrat Institute infuses the dispute with positive thinking.
"So what are you proposing to do?" she looks at Mek inquisitively.
Suddenly Mek starts looking completely reasonable, possibly a result of the new meds he just started taking, and describes his plan.
"First everybody reads Douglas Adams' books starting with the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. If Zaph is involved, other characters are also not far. Next is to understand why are they buying mathematics? what is the price? what parts are they most interested in? How did they find out about the sale, and about the Earth for that matter? and so on."
In spite of the original absurdity this does not look completely unreasonable. Reading the Hitchhiker's series is a minor time commitment, and the rest are questions that have to be answered no matter what.
It feels like a good resolution. The Program Commanders rise slowly and head to their offices to decline proposals.
Swap
Pathia is facing the governing board of the Society of Mathematicians and the atmosphere is tense. They are all hooded and only a few keep their hands on the table, and this fuels her worst suspicions.
"We have the reports that you have raided the Last Day Math," presiding mathematician opens the proceedings.
"The works of Livia, Lucentia, Livonia, Lucretia, Lenora, Lapundia, and Lafirynda were moved to the Alexandria Library," he drones on and suddenly stops.
"Holly fuck!" he exclaims, "and this is just the letter L. What have you done??"
"I am tired of this Gender Gap," Pathia stares at him coldly, "I did not just move these papers to the Library but also moved the works of Pretendus, Phallus, Pincus, Pimpelius, Putyfurius, Pompus, and Pinoccio to the Last Day Math. It is a fair trade."
"Far trade?" someone says, "what has Phallus or Putyfurius done?"
"I don't know," says Pathia, "they publish in the Bulletin of Sahara."
"This is not a refereed journal," expert librarian pipes in, "but it is open access."
"Fuck this," presiding mathematician loses patience, "since these changes Library of Alexandria has doubled the number of customers and there is a surge of mathematical productivity. This has to end now!"
"The cat is out of the bag," Pathia teases the board, "put the work of your Phallus in the Last Day Math!" She storms out of the room.
"What a bunch of wankers!" is the last they hear from her.
WYSIWYG goes live
"What You See Is What You Get" program gets of to a good start and hundreds of proposals are submitted in response to the WYSIWYG call.
The submitted projects are divided thematically and the panels are set up to review them. The first two concern Simplistic Topology and Leisure Number Theory and the Program Commanders are stunned by the submissions.
"I have not seen anything like this for a long time," says Ris going through simplistic topology portfolio.
"This is unbelievable!" exclaims Dy after scanning the Leisure Number Theory submissions, "where were these guys hiding?"
Indeed, the level of novelty is mind boggling and Program Commanders feel as if they entered a new territory. All is well until Lor who heads the Diversity Committee examines the submissions.
"I am worried," he says, "every simplistic topologist and leisure number theorist seems to be a man."
"Could it be a coincidence?" Mek inquires.
"It probably is," they conclude, "unless WYSIWYG is not gender neutral."
"It is math that is supposed to be WYSIWYG, not people," Ris comments.
"But what if they take it to themselves? Do women want to be WYSIWYG?" Uce inquires.
"I don't!" says Nna.
"Likewise," say Man and Nifer, and so it seems that no woman working in the Mathematics Unit wants to be WYSIWYG.
There is a moment of awkward silence and then someone says, "But you do not count. You are one of us!" and the Program Commanders relax seeing that everything is fine after all.
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