previous installment is here
--------------------------------------------------
Projecting strength
The Program Commanders are sitting around a small table and sipping coffee.
"We have a problem," starts Ris with an unequivocal statement, "we can raise money for mathematics by slowing things down, and we can hide good stuff in the Last day Math, but how do we demonstrate to Zaph that math is really a powerfull stuff?"
"Good point," says Ank, "we certainly have not been very convincing on this planet."
"It is not clear that convincing aliens is necessarily harder," Ris jumps in, "if their information is sketchy."
"I bet they will try to get their spies into the Mathematics Unit," muses Chael.
"Spotting them should not be hard," Mek steps in, "The Hitchikers Guide has only two suitable characters and one is a woman."
"Our broadening participation efforts are pretty weak," says Lor, "they will try to get the guy in."
"So how do we help them?" Dy asks and everbody turns to Chael.
There is a bit of silence and finally Chael says, "How about a Program Commander Inutilis hiring initiative fashioned as the extension of the WYSIWYG program?"
"This could certainly broaden up the search," Uce agrees easily, "but what do we do once we have him hired?"
"Let's jump from that bridge once we get there," Chael wraps it up.
Library of Alexandria
The preparations for the burning of the Library are going well. There are over a thousand mathematicians that travelled to Alexandria to use the library and under the leadership of the Society of Mathematicians they are divided into the riot units.
They assemble at the outskirts of town and the newly elected President of the Society greets them.
"It is a fucking bummer," he starts, "and many of you are disappointed."
"But it is an important task," he continues, "and it has to be done."
"The target is the women's section of the Mathematics wing of the library but to cover the tracks we have to go after the rest as well."
There are many boxes of graduation togas and wooden crosses stacked on the side.
"We will come as Christian fundamentalists," the President declares, "with such accelerated schedule there is no time to have this done by Vandals, Vikings or Tatars."
"And the graduation togas?" someone inquires.
"Standard pilgrim stuff, just remove your school logo," the President answers.
"But this place is run by Christian fundamentalists, this will look weird," a voice objects.
"No, it will not," the President cuts in, "they have schisms all the time."
"You will be divided into five person riot groups," he continues, "but utmost secrecy is paramount."
"Good luck," he waves, "go burn, pillage and chant."
Riot group number 13
Five mathematicians gather in a side room. Given the need for secrecy, introductions are minimal.
"Geometer," says the first, "Algebraist," the second, and the remaining three declare themselves to be a Number Theorist, an Applied Mathematician and a Logician.
They look at each other uncertain what to do until the Logician takes the lead.
"Don your robes, collect crosses, and take any weapons that you might have," she starts, "we will proceed to the west wing of the library at MMCCC hours."
"Fuck roman numerals," Algebraist murmurs, "useless shit."
The Logician glares at him briefly and she says helpfully, "we'll go in an hour."
An hour later they sneak stealthily until they spot a real Christian fundamentalist guarding the entrance. The Number Theorist swiftly renders him unconscious with a blow of an abacus to the head. Moments later they reach their target.
"What are we chanting?" asks the Applied Mathematician.
"Praise the Lord, fuck the books," the Geometer proposes quickly.
"Should we start to chant now?" asks the Algebraist.
"It is still very quiet," answers the Logician, "let's scout the place out first."
They spread among the book stacks and start browsing.
"Check this out," says the Geometer, "this is called "On the persistence of numbers"."
They bring the book closer to the olive lamp, "what does the abstract say?" the Applied Mathematician asks.
"Not much," says the Logician "there are several pictures of a sphere divided into triangles and the number two below each of them."
"Looks like rubbish," says the Algebraist.
"Wait a moment," the Logician gets curious, "so what are these persistent numbers?"
"I guess that it is the number two," says the Applied Mathematician.
They move closer to the wall and someone pulls a piece of chalk from the pocket.
"So how do you get these numbers out of these triangles?" the Algebraist asks.
"These are not even triangles," the Geometer corrects him, "they all have one face, three edges and three vertices, but all is crooked."
"Maybe if you count faces, edges and vertices some pattern emerges?" ventures the Logician.
"Fuck these pictures," says the Algebraist, "there is nothing special about them. I can draw my own."
They draw in silence for some time counting the bits until the Number Theorist says, "I think I got it."
They look up and the Number Theorists explains, "just take the number of faces, subtract the number of edges, and then add the number of vertices."
"And?" the Applied Mathematician gets impatient.
"And you get two," the Logician states the obvious.
"Always?" the Applied Mathematician is quite doubtful of such flimsy evidence.
The Geometer and the Logician look at each other and say simultaneously, "Always."
No comments:
Post a Comment