Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Three lectures

  First lecture

“I should have never accepted this invitation,” Zy murmurs to himself, barely masking his irritation, “what was I thinking?"
“You will be fine,” Ol says in a calming way, “It is a new audience and you never know what might come out of it."
“Maybe.” Zy concedes easily because there is nothing better to do.

The challenge is formidable indeed. Zy is supposed to acquaint a class of 6-year olds at the local kindergarten with the latest research on human cognition. The Schoolmaster kindly suggested to do less talking and show lots of pictures and examples.

Extremely nervous, but poised and purposeful, Zy steps in front of the class.
“I must be older than all of them together,” is his last stray thought.

Without wasting time, he puts out his first slide. "This is Pangea.” Zy explains, showing them a picture of a single continent on Earth circa 300 million years ago.  “Over millions of years it broke down into pieces,” he continues, and turns on a little animation showing continents drifting apart to  settle  as they are today.
“Something similar is happening to your minds as you grow up, and this is what I want to talk about."

“When you are born your mind is blank, but soon afterward it gets seeded with ideas,” he starts, as children stare absent-mindedly.
“Your mind works out logical consequences of these ideas and they become like these continents,”  he continues, watching for some signs that he is  getting through.
“Within each continent everything is logically connected, but there is no path from one continent to another,” he explains, and decides to push his luck, as if sticking a few extra syllables into a song: "in the social sciences, we call these continents domains of rationality."

It is a lot to take in, and Zy notices with alarm that some kindergarteners have started preparing spitballs, while others are getting ready for a slumber.
“Questions?” he asks, feeling that all hangs in balance, on what will happen next.

“What is a logical consequence?” a little girl in the first row asks.

Zy sighs with relief, because he is ready. “How many of you have ever put a finger into the fire?” he asks the class, and relaxes, seeing all their hands  go up.
“And you got burnt?” he confirms, as children nod happily.
 “And afterwards, how many of you put your other body parts into the fire?” is the next question, and this time no hands go up.
“This is what being a logical consequence is all about,” he says.

Disaster averted, Zy unrolls the second part: “But as I said, not all things are logically connected, just like you cannot walk from one continent to another."

“What isn’t?” someone asks.

"Good question,” Zy smiles and looks at the class. "Tell me, how old is Earth?"

“Four billion years old,” a girl in the first row bursts out.

“Six thousand years old,” someone else answers, and the rest of the children join in, screaming various answers.
“This is what I call inconsistency,” Zy announces. “These answers cannot be all correct."

Suddenly the class is quiet and confused and children look at each other with suspicion. If only one answer is  right then nearly everybody is wrong and there is no reason to be happy about it.
Zy is also not pleased at this unexpected turn, but suddenly, the girl from first row exclaims “It is a carrot number, silly!"
“Carrot number?? What is a carrot number?” Now it is Zy's turn to be confused.
In a flash, the kids are relaxed, rolling with laughter, as if everybody except Zy knew what a carrot number is.

“I guess this is more complicated than I thought,” Zy  says in conclusion.

Second lecture

“I am not going to America!” Zy is stomping his feet, “it is a long and tiresome journey.”
“That is why we should stay there longer,” replies Ol. “You are going to like it."
“I am not, I am not,” Zy repeats stubbornly, but he already has a sinking feeling.
“I should pick my battles better,” he murmurs to himself.

The trip is indeed long but the lecture is worth it. It is a panel discussion in front of a large academic audience and  Zy is a keynote speaker.

The moderator starts by introducing Zy to the audience and then gets down to business.

He starts with a soft-ball question aimed at bringing audience up to speed.“So what are these domains of rationality that everybody is talking about?”

“In a nutshell,” Zy explains, “these are logically consistent pieces of our cognitive space.” “Our minds,” he continues, “operate completely logically within each domain of rationality, yet they can switch between different ones at will."

“The theory of domains of rationality theory has taken the academic world by storm. What is the reason behind this success?" the moderator probes deeper.

“Well,” Zy pauses briefly, “the theory puts all human thought on the same level, there is no good and bad thinking."
"And historically the rationality is a token of credibility,” he adds.

"So the theory of domains of rationality is not a product of bad thinking," the Moderator quips drawing chuckles from the audience, "and thus we have to focus on the underlying assumptions." “What are they?” the moderator gently channels the doubters.

“There are at least two,” Zy answers, “one is that all human thought is rational, and the second is that not everything is a logical consequence of everything else, that is that different domains of rationality can actually exist in one person's head."

“Are these assumptions verifiable?”

“Curiously,” Zy begins, “this is a case when philosophy is aided by computer science and mathematics."

“Today, the best empirical evidence for both assumptions comes from the Human Brain Project,” Zy explains, “ever since they have built a computer that models  human brain, you can test things repeatedly.”

“So we are rational because we can fake it?” moderator fills in the blank.

“Pretty much,” Zy warms up.

“Is there more data to back it up?"

“The artificial brain draws sensory information from the web and evolves the equivalent of 200 human years in about 15 minutes." Zy continues somberly, "afterwards  it is shut down because it draws too much electricity.”
The room is silent and Zy is not sure if his adience grasps the range of issues that arise here.

“Anyway, the fragmentation of cognitive space into domains of rationality is evident in each incarnation," he finally answers the question.

“What about the second assumption?” The moderator chases loose ends.

“The second one is a bit tricky,” Zy begins, “because it is for  mathematicians to answer. They have been laboring on such things for nearly a hundred years,  since Godel’s discoveries. But they assure me that all is fine."

"In fact," he continues changing the subject, "every politician, religious leader or a salesman wants to establish their own domain of rationality in your mind. This is where the modern battle lines are drawn."

“If the theory posits that all human thought is of equal quality,” moderator back-tracks to the first answer, “doesn’t it justify all the bad things that people do in the name of their beliefs?"

“Good question.” Zy pulls out his pipe to occupy his hands, “and the answer is negative.”
“Domains of rationality,” he continues, “are a mechanism to explain how we think and sort things out, but not a justification of what we do."

“But surely thinking leads to action?” The moderator does not give up.

“Of course,” Zy beams, “and by putting all human thought on the same level plane this theory enables us to make an unbiased choice of which domain of rationality drives our actions."

Third lecture

“For this lecture you need a new jacket.” Ol eyes Zy carefully, “tweed I think.”
“I do not want a new jacket,” Zy displays his usual stubbornness.
Ol pauses as if she was making a mental calculation, “Tweed jacket and a haircut."
Zy looks like he saw a ghost, “Haircut? Haircut?” he repeats with desperation, and quickly agrees to a tweed jacket.
“I will look like some Englishmen,” he complains later.
“Do not worry, you can only look like yourself, even in a kimono” Ol closes the deal, adding “And this time, we are going to America for longer."

Weeks later they arrive in New York City and Zy is tormented by indecision.
“10 minutes is plenty of time,” Ol tries to cheer him up.
“It is too much or too little,” he keeps saying,  even when when the limo drops them by the VIP entrance to the United Nations building.
They go in and Zy waits for his time slot. The guard glances at Zy's jacket and sensing his distress says “Go get them, Lord Grantham."
It is not a very funny remark but the effect is nothing short of miraculous. Suddenly Zy’s thoughts become crystal clear, as if he had smoked an entire Cuban cigar.
“I am doing the Pamchenko!” he exclaims to a bewildered Ol as he enters the auditorium.

Delegates of at least 120 nations are gathered  here, except for those few that heard a rumor of a giant sale at Macy’s fifteen blocks away and eloped. Zy is blinded by flashes and dwarfed by the size of the room. A battery of microphones is set up to pick up his voice and translate it in multitude of languages.

“The domains of rationality theory is the biggest equalizer in recent history,” he begins.
“Just look at you." He glances at the Iranian delegation chanting softly and playing with prayer beads, he waives to Polish representatives partly obscured by a wall of wooden crosses in a gravel-filled planters, and smiles to the lonely North Korean delegate clutching a rabbit foot.

“By accepting multiple domains of rationality the dignity of human thought has been restored,” he continues and smiles to the German delegate spitting over his left shoulder  as if chasing away a bad dream, “and we can relax a bit."

“But,” he continues, “the philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways. The point, however, is to change it."
There are whispers among the audience as Karl Marx has not been brought up here for the sake of argument for  quite some time.

“And this change is your job,”  in a firm voice Zy finishes his 10 minute presentation 7 minutes ahead of schedule.

The French delegate requests to speak.
“C'est impossible,” he begins, “even within Europe we inhabit different domains of rationality."  He glares at the Polish delegates.  Others try to join in voicing their complaints. Suddenly, the calm mood is gone and finger pointing ensues. Everybody is yelling and screaming at everybody else.

Zy waits patiently for the ruckus to subside, as this is nothing new among this crowd.

“There is a simple trick that might help you to communicate,”
he says with a mischevious smile as he savors what is coming in the remaining few minutes of his presentation,
“Have you heard about the carrot number?"