Treasure Trove

As the correspondence below indicates, we might be at a cusp of one the greatest scientific breakthrough of this millennium. Stay tuned!

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From: Ejiro Alabi    

Dear Sir/Madam,

This letter is not intended to  cause any embarrassment but just to contact your esteem self - following the knowledge of your high repute and trustworthiness.

I am Ejiro Alabi, the eldest son of the late Minister of Science who died two years ago today. If you are conversant with world news, you would understand better, while I got your contacts through my personal research. Please, I need your assistance to make this happen and please; do not undermine it because it will also be a source of upliftment to you. You have absolutely nothing to loose in assisting us,  instead you have so much to gain.

The then head of Ministry of Science, Colonel Oputa Alabi transferred to my custody a large wooden chest containing scientific ideas that in proper hands will solve the problems of Humanity forever. You must have heard over the media reports and the Internet on the recovery of various huge sums of money being found in my country and given away through angel investing. My Father’s treasure, although related, is quite different. It is a scientific Treasure Trove obtained by multitudes of incarcerated scientists who were for years laboring in harsh conditions under my late Father's watchful eye. Let this sad truth not stop you from seeing a magnificent outcome to this end.

Please my dear, I repose great confidence in you and I hope you will not betray my confidence in you.   This arrangement is known to you and myself only. So I will deal directly with you. Please rest assured that the modalities I have resolved to finalize the entire project guarantees our safety and the successful transfer of the ideas and discoveries. So, you will be absolutely right when you say that this project is risk free and viable. If you are capable and willing to assist, contact me at once via email with  your contact details.

Also this transaction demands absolute confidentiality. On no condition must you disclose it to anybody irrespective of your relation with the person. Remember, Loose lips sink ships. I am looking forward to your urgent and positive response.

Best Regards,

Ejiro Alabi

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From: Celine Rostbraten, Government Science Foundation of America.

Dear Ejiro,

what a great news, I am burning with excitement!  I am sure that it did not escape your attention that my beloved country no longer cares much for the scientific research, particularly in the realm of mathematical and physical sciences. Things got so bad that I fear that we have no minds that could take the theories and ideas from your esteemed Father’s Treasure Trove and forge them into Humanity saving applications. Also, I might add that as a former scientist I feel uneasy about your Father’s treatment of the scientific workforce, and I have some qualms about furthering discoveries obtained by such methods. Could you please address my concerns in your forthcoming letter?

Sincerely yours,

Celine Rostbraten

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From: Ejiro Alabi

Dear Celine,

you are a true scientist and your heart is in the right place!  We live in topsy-turvy world and my beloved Father was always torn between serving Science and helping the scientific community. He was a determined and strong-willed man but please rest assured that the scientists that worked under his tutelage are for the most part doing well and are happily kicking around.

I share your worry about America’s divorce from rational thinking and lack of interest in scientific discovery. It makes me very hungry to thing about it! Perhaps as a compromise you will let my scientific crack team to take care of the developments leaving sweet fruits of our labor for you to consume? What if, for a small fee, rather than give you access to the scientific Treasure Trove that my beloved Father collected, I will present you with freshly minted science of the highest caliber? Wouldn’t it be worth a few millions of american dollars?

Yours Truly,

Ejiro

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From: Celine Rostbraten

Dear Ejiro,

your generosity overwhelms me, and I am struggling for words. At a risk of being too forceful and direct let me respectfully ask you what exactly would be the deliverables that you promise so gallantly and what would be the exact cost? Part of the problem with doing research in America is that it is so dreadfully expensive. For every american dollar that goes to the scientist, postdoc or a student there are two american dollars that go to some shadowy university official whose role in the project cannot be easily explained. For that reason we are getting more and more frugal and our resources are quite limited. Furthermore I am not sure if the State Department would issue a bank draft to cover your costs. Sadly we live in a divided world.

As ever,

Celine

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From: Ejiro Alabi

Celine!

you are a tough negotiator but I would not expect any less from you. My proposition is very simple. Ten spectacular scientific breakthroughs based on my late Father's scientific Treasure Trove. Each discovery will be followed within six months by a publication in a major professional journal with considerable impact factor plus a full page research announcement in Science, Nature, or equivalent. Each discovery will acknowledge participation and support of the Government Science Foundation of America.
How does this sound? Isn’t it worth  $1M (one million) of american dollars?

Yours,

Ejiro

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From: Celine Rostbraten

Ejiro!

I cannot believe my eyes! Here in America one million american dollars does not get you far, and certainly would not bring a scientific breakthrough! You are an angel!

I see a great future ahead because I have excellent news that I am about to divulge to you. It will allow to put your team on the job as we speak and to broaden the scope of this project simultaneously. I hope that your scientific team would welcome additional challenges. 

I am so excited that I do not even know where to start, but let me just say that something  miraculous has just happened.

A week ago I went fishing with my dear fried, the youngest daughter of the late Secretary of the Treasury. We travelled to her cabin in Adirondacks and while searching for fishhooks and worms we came across a very old metal chest buried in the toolshed. After some effort we managed to open it and we found out that it contained bricks of hundred dollar bills with the total amount of exactly TEN MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS!

The money is completely off the books and we suspect that my dear friend’s late Father just fancied to have it lying around.

It is pure serendipity that now this good fortune can be used to advance the scientific ideas from your esteemed Father's scientific Treasure Trove.  The daughter of the late Secretary of the Treasury fully approves this plan since the discovery, while completely innocent, may cast an unwelcome light on her late Father's activities.

Will you be so graceful to accept 10% of this sum (ONE MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS) for the support of your scientists and to cover your personal efforts in bringing the ten forthcoming scientific breakthroughs?

I am reserving the rest of the money for scientific projects of our joint interest.

Yours forever,

Celine

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From: Ejiro Alabi

Celine dearest!

I would have never guessed that such fortuitous events can happen outside my own country! We are truly blessed and the future of Humanity is with us. I would have loved to whisper sweet nothings into your ears but the responsibility is a heavy burden with me.  

Godspeed,

Your faithful
Ejiro