How to be a loser

Adversity is a part of life and sooner or later you will fail trying to accomplish some important goal. In fact I am expecting a major professional set-back in the next couple of months. In anticipation of the pain, anxiety and anguish I have decided that rather than suffer later I should prepare now. My expected downfall is fairly standard and the three-step method that I describe below should apply to most situations when your better judgment did not prevail.

Anger

This is a purifying flame and a source of great satisfaction. Other than fantasizing about the destruction of your enemies and their properties (these exercises you can design yourself), I recommend Jack Reacher novels (any one will do) and Dirty Harry movies. They depict you - supremely confident character who punishes forces of evil with great deal of violence and without a trace of hesitation. You are an outsider and a rebel and weak and stupid constantly stand in your way and slow you down.

After this initial phase you may conclude that life is a bit more complicated and responsibility is not so easy to assign. Perhaps your misfortunes are everybody's fault and the punishment should be more even-handed and spread out. For this phase I recommend movies such as 2012, Deep Impact, Melancholia, and Bambi (particularly these fragments). They will resonate with the need to deliver a punishing blow to entire continents and populations. While you will no longer be in the driving seat of the destruction, the sense of righteousness is likely to be very satisfying.

In the last stage your anger will turn against yourself. You failed and there is no point in blaming anybody else. Instead of fantasizing about pulling a cord on the suicide belt you will wallow in self-pity. Visits to finalexitnetwork.org and reading their guides will become your daily routine and sadness will engulf your soul. Watching Old yeller and reading The Giving Tree  will make you weep for hours. Check this link for additional suggestions of movies that will take you to the bottom of your despair.

Hope

Your anger will eventually burn down and new hope will enter the picture. Yes, you have lost a battle but you may yet win the war. It may take many years but so what. Flicker of hope never glows very brightly but it can last forever. Furthermore, while the nature is patiently working towards rewarding you with the most satisfying solution you do not need to do much but wait.

For this phase I recommend Lassie Come Home, When Harry met Sally together with Sleepless in Seattle. Reading Captain Blood  will warm you up as well. Not only you can live your life as before without introducing much disturbances but in the end you will be paid with interest! Indeed, when the adversities felled you you did not really know what you wanted, and now after many years and endowed with 20/20 vision you have a sense of a fulfillment of your destiny.

Alas, sappy movies and books will leave you longing for more. Rather than waiting for Lassie to come home start planning your next move. Perhaps there is a great deal more randomness in life and for a moment you just drew bad cards? Read Wall Street Journal and watch C-Span - everything you see there is somebody's win and somebody else's loss. Best laid plans are wasted, careers are ruined and this is just the way things are.

At this point reading books and watching movies is no longer enough - you are climbing up from a hole and you need a great deal more. Go shopping! Spend freely and make sure that you are not guided by your household needs. Remember that you are rebuilding your soul, not your kitchen. Depending on your financial stratum this, this or that might provide a lasting lift.

Grand fusion

You are approaching the final stage of your recovery and this step is entirely up to you. Anger and hope coexist next to one another and hang in a perfect balance. You are buoyed by your recent purchases, and your anger slowly transforms into wisdom. You are poised and endowed with a quiet sense of resolve. You work fewer hours and you have developed a sense of another dimension. Colleagues are seeking your opinions and you are back to your usual self without the burden of former responsibilities. It is time to pick up new hobbies and update your wardrobe. Dark clouds have parted and the first day of your new life has just started.

Reading for this period might include Deepak Chopra (particularly this book) or getting familiar with the miracles of modern medicine (as described in  that book).